Jack Curtin’s LIQUID DIET

It’s always amusing to see the Search Terms used to find this site by newcomers looking for…something. On days when those are particularly amusing or of WTF quality, I try to post them here to brighten the days for you regulars.

Today be one of those days.

In order, the top Search Terms which brought visitors here today:

liquid diet

naked breasts

local 44 philadelphia

jack curtin liquid diet

craft ale house

teresa’s next door

nude 3 breasts

nakeds breasts

good liquid diet

what bad things are in beer

Most intriguing of all, though, was this search from yesterday:

wedding of christopher brugger

Nobody ever tells me anything.

Charlie Papazian brings to our attention what appears to be a great brewpub in a location you might find surprising. Or not. Who am I to judge the level of your sophistication?

Maybe its the photos of the food and beer (nothing over 5.2%), maybe its the beachside setting, maybe is that’s never-been-there urge kicking in…hell, maybe it’s the bitter cold weather we’ve been having…but the imaginary me who lives in a world where he can do what he wants is already booking a flight.

Once I’m that far, of course, I’d make a side trip to see this guy, who once got me about as about as drunk I’ve ever gotten on a visit to Booneville (that long ago posting doesn’t give any of the lurid details, thankfully; I barely made it the 30 yards or so across the street from the Buckhorn to the hotel).

I know a lot of folks (O’Reilly) are really infatuated with their iPhones (O’Reilly) and especially with that tilt-the-phone-pour-a-beer thing (O’Reilly). Let’s face it, lots of folks confuse me a lot.

This guy, on the other hand, takes it to the max.

Now, that’s impressive (play the video, you dopes), but I have to say, “perfect pour, my ass.”

Most of you probably remember this famous photo from last April as candidate Barack Obama raised a glass of Fegley’s ESB with Peg Fegley at the Bethlehem Brew Works:

Probably because the Bethlehem pub is still working with a limited kitchen following the fire there last month, that moment, and the Inauguration of President Barack Obama will be marked at the Allentown Brew Works on January 20, with a Buffet Luncheon and an Open Bar Party that night. The latter event is optional Black Tie.

Here is another photo of the next President of the United States enjoying his ESB.

Michael Fegley, who does the marketing and public relations for the two Brew Works locations founded by his family, was an Obama delegate at the Democratic Convention in Denver last summer.

The lady was busy preparing the best local 2008 tribute of all. With photos no less.

I gotta stop saying nice things about this guy, especially since he goes out of his way to refer to me as a “sickly gentleman” here (he neglects to mention that the copy of Christmas Beer he delivered was for a review in Celebrator Beer News and that it was a screw-up on his publicists’ part that I didn’t already have a copy in hand and that he desperately needed my advice as to what to fill the growler with for an event he was going to that night, but never mind)  but I have to admit that this is the best “best of 2008″ column I’ve read so far, six good beers and a good story for each.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go lie down and recover from all this exertion.

Just so you know what I gave up to be here entertaining you every day.

Okay, if you follow my reasoning, it was early death, but still…

A couple of us were talking the other day about how the beer world has changed this time of year. It’s still the case that the first quarter is the worst for beer sales overall and a time where there is considerable angst in more than few brewery offices, but it is no longer true that not much happens for the consumer to get his beer fix in January or February.

A quick glance at the Beer Yard calendar for January, for example, shows two of Tria’s monthly beer events (featuring Tom Baker and Lew Bryson), a Meet the Brewers night at Spinnerstown Hotel, a Dogfish Head Sunday Dinner, Weyerbacher Fireside Ale premiering at Devil’s Den and a beef and craft beer night at South Philly Tap Room.

On top of that, three more-major events (is that a grammatical construction?) are on the beer docket, Winterfest at World Cafe Live, Belgium Comes to West Chester at Iron Hill West Chester and the annual Robbie Burns Birthday Bash at Sly Fox Phoenixville (this latter, by the way, is ramping things up with a 2007 Gang Aft Agley on draught as well as this year’s releases and both the new Gang Aft Agley and the 2009 Burns Scottish Ale on cask (the latter is, of course, also on draught). Why, it’s almost enough to make a man lift his kilt and show off).

And there’s probably lots else that whoever is in charge of the calendar–whoops, C’est moi!—hasn’t gotten to as yet.

Let us go then, you and I….

Extra credit for identifying where that line originated. My other blog is a clue.

I found myself at Craft Ale House one more once this afternoon, three days in a row,  a habit which I needs must get under control ASAP lest I become the Richard Ruch of Limerick. I was drinking with the Sly Fox brewing staff who apparently feel that their salaries do not require them to fulfill their duties during the last hours of the year.

When I was momentarily beerless, owner Gary Fry advised, “if you can’t get a beer from one of the bartenders behind the bar, try the ones seated at the bar.”

Joking, of course.

I think.

In any case, there were indeed more than a few people on the customer side of the bar who have been familiar faces on the serving side for some time now, among them two of the best known and most highly regarded practitioners of the drinks-dispensing art.

I will not reveal their identities because each was, at that particular moment, late for work. If it helps, one was wearing fishnets and the other wasn’t.

I asked them—because this affront to my judgment, palate and general character (not to mention my beard, which is older than many of the readers of this deathless prose) weighs heavy on my mind—if they would do me the favor of each having a 10oz glass of PBC Rowhouse Red and tell me if they detected even a trace of carrots in same.

They were kind enough to do so.

Their short answers, same as my original one: No.

They were, if truth be told (and it be), even more adamant than I on the issue.

One did say she experienced something which might be vaguely related to celery, but that is another vegetable entirely, innit, and a question for another day?

I am reborn and—modestly as is my custom—hereby rest my argument and close out 2008, confident in the wisdom and rightness of my case.

I haven’t, perhaps wisely, done one of these local beer awards lists for several years now, but I can’t fight the urge any longer.

BREWERY RECORDING GREATEST SALES GROWTH IN 2008 : It has to be ONE GUY in Berwick. I dunno Guy Hagner’s sales figures for 2008 but, if I’m not misremembering, he sold only a single keg in 2007 so the upside percentage must be astronomical for last year.

AGRICULTURAL PROJECT OF THE YEAR : THE WEYERBACHER HOPS FARM in East Bejeezus or wherever it is that Dan and Suzanne live and have managed to convince the neighbors that having Dan in the neighborhood is okay. Yeah, I know others are growing their own hops these days as well, but the Weirbacks get extra points for the annual Human Foosball Invitational Tournament.

IN YOUR FACE AWARD : IRON HILL, without question. GABF judges had the audacity to award the chain but a single medal in 2007, so the boys came roaring back to win six, count ‘em six medals last year. To rub it in, six different brewers were responsible for the haul. Don’t mess with the Hill or they might just send Bob Barrar around to give you a talkin’ to.

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS AWARD : A GABF MEDAL FOR FLYING FISH. And here everybody thought Casey Hughes was nothing more than another pretty face.

GRAND BEER ADVENTURE OF THE YEAR : A group of six intrepid beer fanciers rode their bikes on a  SIX DAY, 300-PLUS MILE TRIP FROM PHILLY TO NEW YORK and the Belgium Comes to Cooperstown beer festival in July. Now that’s what I call working up a thirst.

GRAND ADVENTURE OF THE YEAR (PERSONAL) : APPENDICITIS. Don’t try this at home.

DUMBEST THING I WROTE IN 2008 : No sooner had I RAVED ABOUT MAIA, the fancy new place in Villanova, both here and in the pages of Mid-Atlantic Brewing News than the sommelier/beer director who had inspired that rave left. Now one of the chefs is gone and Craig LaBan just expressed serious concern about the place’s future in Sunday’s Philadelphia Inquirer. This isn’t quite up there with my classic “smoked hops” reference which appeared in print way back in the last century, one which will haunt me forever if Bill Covaleski has anything to say about it. That got by my editor at the time as well, for what it’s worth.

BREWER OF THE YEAR : LARRY HORWITZ. Yeah, a lot of guys and gals made some great brews this year, but Larry found somebody who would marry him. That, my friends, is an achievement of no small note.

BEER PROGRAM OF THE YEAR : THE TROEGS SCRATCH BEER SERIES really caught my fancy. Great concept, well run and quite different from anything other breweries are doing. As always note whenever I get the chance, I remember the Bros. back in the day when they fiercely maintained they wanted to just stick to the Harrisburg market and do four or five basic beers and the suggestion that they enter the Philadelphia market actually made them blanch. John Trogner now says they were having me on and always had a master plan to conquer the world, but I say that’s just revisionist history.

BEER OF THE YEAR  (Limited Release) :  STANDARD ALE, the cask-conditioned one-off created by William Reed of the Standard Tap and Brian O’Reilly of Sly Fox for Philly Beer Week was extraordinarily good and will be back for PBW 2009. But it should be back year-round, so I urge you all to join with me in badgering those guys (and by “those guys” I mean O’Reilly because William is already on board) to at least do a couple of joint brews a year. Hell, with a joint if that’ll help.

BEER OF THE YEAR (Year Round) : YARDS BRAWLER. I love this late entry into the competition and maybe it’s just temporary infatuation with the newest beauty on the block, but what can I say?

BEER EVENT OF THE YEAR :  PHILLY BEER WEEK. What, you thought it was gonna be something else?

BEER WRITER OF THE YEAR : DON “JOE SIXPACK” RUSSELL. This was the toughest category of all, and not just because it involves colleagues who do what I do (and do it better, dammit). Lew Bryson had a helluva year, with a new book out (even if it’s about New Jersey) and a GABF Writers Medal, but Don edged him out with Christmas Beer,  a great concept book which received national attention and seems destined to have national shelf life. We all wish we wrote one like that.

STORY OF THE YEAR : PHILLY BEER WEEK clearly topped all the beer news locally (the A-B/INBEV MERGER was obviously  the international story) and set off a national discussion about good beer cities and several best-form-of-flattery imitators.

BREWERY OF THE YEAR : Ah, for this one, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait for the next issue of Mid-Atlantic Brewing News, where my choice will top off my “Eastern Pennsylvania” column. It’s probably a dirty trick to build up to this and then prematurely withdraw, but nobody ever said I wasn’t capable of that. On the other hand, if you’ve studied all the categories so far and noted the absence of one very prominent local name, you can probably figure it out. And you could surely count that as a victory of sorts.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!