Jack Curtin’s LIQUID DIET

Tags: Cafes, Restaurants, Taverns, Hilarious Hilarity by jcurtin
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It is on Victory Brewing’s YouTube channel and is clever, comical and captivating—great fun for anyone with even a minimal knowledge of local craft beer history, laugh-out-loud hilarious for those who’ve lived through the last 15 years.

The “actors” are superb and I mean to find out who wrote the script so I can shout his, her or their names from the rooftops. I am totally flabbergasted with envy and awe.

Update: Bill Covaleski has responded to my email asking who wrote the script (copying the other participants so perhaps we’ll hear from them as well).

Here’s what he says:

Guys, Who wants to take credit?

Really, Jack, it was group-think. It’s easy to act when you have the experience of the bumps and bruises along the way. It’s easy to act silly, when drinking Old Milwaukee (or Prima Pils disguised as it…). We had fun. And I think it kinda underscores how crappy our realities could be if our audience did not support us.

I’ll claim responsibility for the title, Older Bud No Weiser, though.

Cheers, - Bill

Editorial Note: To be totally accurate in terms of history, I should note here that the guys fudged the timeline a bit. Yards came on the market in the summer of 1995 and was selling all the beer it could make as 1996 rolled around and the other guys came onto the scene. Flying Fish already existed in a virtual sense, having created a web presence back before anybody else know what that was. And it was the Fall of 1995 when I was handed a glass of Raison d’Etre by Sam Calagione during the “Philadelphia’s Favorite Beer” event at the old Sam Adams Brewhouse. “Try this, it’s our newest beer,” he said. “How is it?” asked I. “I don’t know, I haven’t tried it yet, it’s fresh from the tank,” quoth he. I knew then and there I had me a guy who was going to be good story material as long as he stayed around. And stay around he has, as have they all.

Tags: Beer History, Brewers, Hilarious Hilarity, History, Philly by jackc
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So I’m at Sly Fox Phoenixville a half hour or so ago, drinking an O’Reilly’s Stout and chatting with Pete Giannopoulos and we get to talking Philly Beer Week and surviving it. I go into my usual “I live 50 miles from center city” rant about how damned difficult it is to be downtown late at night and catching the late train and then having to drive 20-plus miles from Wayne or Devon out to the sticks and that means I won’t get to do nearly as much as I would like.

“Tell you what,” I conclude. “If I ever magically hit it rich, I’m not buying a fancy place to live or lots of new stuff, what I’m buying is a driver. I’m hiring some guy for $100,000 a year to drive me around in a comfortable car whenever and wherever I want or need. He can have the car for himself otherwise and I’ll do the best I can to schedule things out ahead of time but he has to be there when I call and he has to get me home safely.”

Pete looks at me. “You know,” he says, “you could hire Lew.”

My first reaction is to laugh, which I do, but then I think a bit. That actually makes sense. Bryson likes to drive, he can handle his liquor should I decide to allow him to drink on occasion, he knows the area and he is, as far as I know, reliable. It could work.

So, if I hit it rich, Big Guy, so do you. After a fashion. I would of course require some serious “yes, sir”-ing and maybe one of those little chauffeur caps.

And it might not even cost me that much. I figure I could get the PLCB to kick in a substantial portion of his pay if I promise to keep him busy and away from the intertubes.

Tags: Beer Buddies, Entirely Too Much Time on my Hands, Hilarious Hilarity by jackc
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You’ve probably all heard about the Pabst sale by now (if not, go here). Well, here’s a great lead on a story about same at The Consumerist website….

After nearly a decade on the market, someone has finally gotten beer-goggled enough to plunk down the cash to purchase Pabst Brewing Co. According to reports, the deal went down for an ice-cold $250 million, though for only a dollar more they could have gotten a shot of Jameson to go along with it.

My thanks to the retired and desperately-seeking-ways-to-fill-his-days Carl P,* who prowls the interwebs for this stuff so I won’t have to.

* One of the ways he’s found is to journey Eastward and spend a goodly part of Philly Beer Week following me hither and yon. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Tags: Beer Buddies, Breweries, Hilarious Hilarity, News by jackc
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You know how I say sometimes, and you all think it’s a funny joke but it’s terribly and completely true, that my original retirement plan was “early death” and I slipped right by it and now am screwed? Well, this could be the solution:

No nursing  home for me. I am checking into the Holiday  Inn!

With  the average cost for a nursing home care costing  $188.00 per day, there is a better way when I get old and feeble.

I have already checked on reservations at the  Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay  discount and senior discount, it’s $49.23 per  night.  That leaves  $138.77 a day  for: Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any  restaurant we want, or room service, laundry,  gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they  provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a  lounge and washer-dryer, etc …..    Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all  have free shampoo and soap.

$5  worth of tips a day will have the entire  staff  scrambling to help you. They treat  you like a customer, not a patient. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.  The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you  fake a decent limp).

To  meet other nice people, I’ll call a church bus on  Sundays.

For a change of scenery, I can take the airport shuttle  bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants  there.  While I’m at  the airport, I’ll  fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash will keep building up.

It  takes months to get into decent nursing homes.  Holiday Inn will take my reservation  today.  And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn , or even  from city to city. Want to see Hawaii  ? They have a Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken?  Light  bulbs need changing?  Need a mattress  replaced?  No problem. They fix everything,  and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room  service. The maid checks to see if I’m OK.  If not, they will call the undertaker or an  ambulance.   If I fall and break a  hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday  Inn will upgrade me to a suite for the rest of my life.

And  no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find me, and probably check  in for a few days mini-vacation.

And maybe I’ll even hook up with some chicks.


So, when I reach that golden age,I’ll face it with a grin. Just forward all my email.

CAVEAT: This may be a Golden Oldie and has already been sent to his spam list, which is pretty much to say, everybody in the world, by Richard Ruch several times (he do get forgetful in his dotage); nonetheless, I find it amusing and am taking that risk. My thanks to Ross W for forwarding it to me.

Tags: Brewers, Brewpubs, Entirely Too Much Time on my Hands, Hilarious Hilarity, Personal by jackc
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That header is an inside joke of sorts for anyone who’s not been hanging around these parts very long, but never mind that…

This is very hilariously funny, although you probably won’t want to share it with your grandmother.

And no, that post is not a fake; here’s more from the source.

I would thank Carl P for the heads up but I know he would be embarrassed to be singled out.

Tags: Hilarious Hilarity, WTF? by jackc
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I awakened this morning to hear Seamus O’Hara, founder of the brewery in Carlow, Ireland of the same name, on the WIP Morning show, directly from “Chip Snapper’s Tavern.”

Whoa? Talk about world’s colliding.

Seamus, a great guy, happened to be present at one of my more ignominious moments in May of 2005 when I slid on my stomach down a wet and slippery hillside in a cemetery near Carlow.

Since this is St. Patrick’s Day and it the embarrassment was set in Ireland, it seems only appropriate that we visit the scene of the crime one more once.

My life, as I wrote it, as I lived it.

Tags: Good Old Days, Hilarious Hilarity, Travel by jackc
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Regular visitor and Usual Suspects mainstay Tom Foley thought this was very funny; I chuckled but was off-put by the concept of pizza with stout…

Elsewhere, Dilbert offers one of the cardinal rules for a happy and productive life….

Tags: Fun Stuff, Hilarious Hilarity by jackc
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I cannot decide if this is, like, a teabag revolt for beer geeks or the dark underside of this.

What I am convinced of is that it is hilarious either way.

Cheers to Ric Hoffman (he’ll know why).

Tags: Hilarious Hilarity by jackc
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Yes, that’s a pretty lofty claim but I believe this one from last week, in this thread about the Philly Craft Beer Festival and whether the organizers are paying for the beer this yet (a lot of locals, through their wholesalers, pulled out last year because they weren’t paying), warrants the honor for its pure, unadulterated cluelessness and the sort of reasoning that makes brewers want to scream or punch somebody:

Could someone explain to me why the folks putting on the festival are paying for the beer? I thought part of this was for the breweries to get their product out there and do some advertising?

I believe that’s unbeatable but, to be fair, I will leave the floor open for other entries.

Tags: Hilarious Hilarity by jackc
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